


Taking a Risk

by flooj9235



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Manaan, Mild Angst, Oneshot, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flooj9235/pseuds/flooj9235
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Aeyrn is out on the Hrakert Rift looking for the Star Map, Bastila lingers inside the station and waits for her to return.  A glance through one of the windows sends Bastila's world crashing down around her.  Bastila POV, oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking a Risk

I stood there in the empty room, gazing out at the seafloor through the window. It was beautiful, but my mind was full of other, more important things. Namely, Aeryn being somewhere out there underneath the water, somewhere in the midst of all those ferocious looking firaxan sharks.

It was an understatement to say that I was concerned. One might say I was scared out of my mind or terrified for her, but I would never admit to it. Aeryn would never let me hear the end of it.

I paced back and forth in front of the window, wondering how long it could possibly take for her to make it all the way to the southern half of the station. I jumped when I heard a few loud squeals and blaster fire, realizing that it was just Canderous wasting time.

My attention was drawn away again when I heard a screech from outside the station. I let the thought play through my head for a moment that it wasn't good for a Jedi to be so distracted, disregarding it a split second later.

The screech turned out to be another firaxan shark that was slowly swimming past, and I wondered how they could manage to make such a loud sound, especially one that I could hear through the sturdy walls of the station. I allowed my mind to wander along that tangent until sudden movement caught my eye.

A firaxan shark shot past the window, its prey locked firmly in its jaws. The prey caught my eye, and, to my horror, it was someone in a bright yellow environment suit, identical to the one Aeryn had left in. My heart stopped beating, then started up again at an alarming pace. "Aeryn," I whispered, vaguely aware that I didn't sound as panicked as I felt.

I opened my mouth, fully expecting to scream, surprised when nothing came out. "Oh, Force," I whispered, sinking to the floor. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle any sounds I might have made; the last thing I needed was that Mandalorian accusing me of not holding true to the Jedi Code or something equally ridiculous.

I became aware of wetness on my cheeks, somewhat surprised to find that I was crying. I fought off the fleeting thought that I was a pathetic excuse for a Jedi, the ache in my chest too intense for me to focus on anything other than it. Aeryn was dead. One of my only friends in the entire galaxy was gone. The woman I loved… Dead.

I lost track of time as I sat there and cried, thinking of all the things I should have done, the things I should have said… It was too late. I should have disregarded the Jedi ideals for just a moment and followed my heart. Aeryn had always encouraged me to take more risks, and I desperately wished I had listened.

The sound of the airlock pressurization sequence interrupted my train of thought, and I jumped as the door hissed open.

A weary but accomplished looking Aeryn stepped through the door, dropping a dripping helmet on the floor beside her and looking up to meet my gaze. Concern appeared on her face immediately, and before I could even open my mouth to speak, she was at my side, her arm around my shoulders.

"Bas, what's the matter?" she asked, her sweet voice sounding more glorious and amazing than anything I'd ever heard before. She was alive!

"I… I thought…" I swallowed, palming tears from my cheeks. "I thought you were dead."

A crease formed on her forehead as her brows came together in a confused frown. "What?"

I told her what I'd seen, hardly able to believe she was there. I forced myself not to cuddle into her arms, trying to maintain some degree of Jedi decency.

"Oh," she said finally, watching me uncertainly. She told me about a mercenary that she'd met who'd been eaten shortly after. We came to the conclusion that that was who I'd seen, and the relief I felt was enough to swallow up Tatooine's Dune Sea. I couldn't restrain myself then; I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly.

Aeryn hesitated, obviously surprised at my uncharacteristic actions. After a moment she gently wrapped her arms around me and held me to her. When my tears started falling again, she rocked me back and forth, petting my hair and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

I finally forced myself to break away from her embrace, wiping my eyes on the sleeves of my tunic. I glanced up at her, realizing just how fragile life could be and how quickly it could be snuffed out. It was best, I decided, to take risks and act on the spur of the moment, rather than wait and lose your chance completely, no matter what the Jedi taught.

"Aeryn, I need to tell you something," I whispered, looking at her pleadingly.

She returned my gaze, the expression on her face one of complete patience and willingness to listen. I noticed her hands shift, almost as though she wanted to reach for my hands and hold them in her own. Aeryn, however, rested her hands in her lap.

I took a moment to strengthen my resolve, drawing a breath and gritting my teeth before finally coming out with it. "I care about you, Aeryn. I… You've been more than kind to me, and for some reason, I've fallen for you. I'm not sure if it's because of the bond we share or if it's just destiny, but I… I love you."

Aeryn's face twisted into an expression that I couldn't decipher. I bit my lip and turned away, suddenly understanding why the Jedi Council frowned on love; the intensity of the ache in my chest nearly surpassed the ache I'd felt when I was sure Aeryn was dead. I suddenly saw the wisdom of the words of the Jedi Council; this pain could definitely be enough to turn someone to the dark side.

Aeryn rested her hand on my shoulder, and I resisted the urge to look at her, knowing I might start crying again if I saw distaste on her face.

"Bas," she called softly, repeating my name imploringly when I failed to look at her the first time.

I steeled myself against my emotions, trying and failing to find solace in the Jedi Code. I sighed under my breath and turned my gaze upon her. I caught a glimpse of her stunning smile before I felt her lips against mine.

 


End file.
